Today India won the world cup for the second time in history….. I am more than happy for the victory…. The cricket fever is still on. I saw the match with all my college mates, happily enjoying and shouting and screaming my lungs out. Had a great time, in short!
I am not a professional writer, as in I am not good at writing and at using proper words for my feelings, but just want to pen down my feelings.
This was the happy part of the story. Now comes the sad twist in it.

The worst part in this whole thing was, that i had to sit with a person whom I presently hate the most in the world, whose being in my life has left a big impact, who has taught me the biggest lesson of life. A person who is somewhat responsible for what I am today in life. I have changed so much, both in a positive and a negative way… I was sitting with her for like more than 2 hours, though obviously not talking or looking at each other, but then just her presence makes me feel uncomfortable. I don’t like her, just want her not to be around me, for every moment I see her she reminds me of that same thing she has done to me, to which she still hasn’t given me an answer… Probably she doesn’t have any! You don’t expect such a disappointing act from a person who is so close to you…though no more, but then….
Its been a year since we guys stopped talking, we even had a fight when i came to know her real actual picture! I should have been immune till now, I mean at least I think I am, but today I just realized that I am not yet immune… The impact is soo deep down my heart that I am not able to forget what has happened… It was not ought to happen! I didn’t expect and want it to happen! Why does she still affect me? I don’t want it anymore… I don’t want her in my life now (she neither is by the way), but then there’s this thing, don’t know what, which doesn’t let me forget all what happened… I can’t forget how she broke me deep inside, how my feelings are still hurt, how my heart is still wounded.. I wish i could frame my words and feelings in a better way than this… I want this feeling to end… Why doesn’t it end? Probably I am still expecting things to get better, probably I am expecting her to come to me and own up that it was her mistake, she ditched me like a bitch!! Its more than a year now, why doesn’t this end??? Why can’t I rest in peace? Why she still makes me feel disgusting and sorry for myself that once she used to be my best friend and apparently a priority? I did so much for her, I mean I am not taking the credit for her, but then i really did 😦 She played with my feelings, made me go against my own caring and loving parents… 😦 (which was apparently my mistake)

Today I regret each and every thing I did for her as a friend…. Had I done it for somebody else, that person wouldn’t have done what she has done with me…. At times I pity myself… But I can’t do anything about it 😦